Pregnancy

Whifflebottom: got wat?
Whifflebottom: wat the hell are u talking abt?
Pennyfart: if u got....
Whifflebottom: a proposal?
Pennyfart: ooh... lets just say shelby pregnant
Pennyfart: would u take care of her?
Whifflebottom: hahahah i wont get her pregnant! i wont go close to her pussy dude!
Pennyfart: ookay lets say just some other chick
Whifflebottom: the only way she could do that is if i jacked off on the entire toilet seat and she went in right after and sat all over that shit
Pennyfart: but one that u dont like too much
Whifflebottom: i wont la..
Pennyfart: what would u do la
Pennyfart: lets say one day some stupid mistake u got drunk
Pennyfart: like the movie knocked up
Whifflebottom: hahah ok.. and then? so will i take care of her?
Pennyfart: yea
Whifflebottom: i'd give her enough cash for an abortion
Pennyfart: lets say its gisele bunchen
Pennyfart: or some super hot chick
Whifflebottom: ooh..
Pennyfart: maybe hannah tan or id ont know some hot malaysian chick model
Whifflebottom: okok.. they'd be rich.. so i just have to be ard emotionally? yea man.. i;d k-fed those bitches
Pennyfart: y u do tat??
Whifflebottom: hot malaysian chick also hard.. but a rich celeb yeah i'd hang ard.. A-Zik the bitch
Whifflebottom: y not dude? i'll stick it to them and then i'll be loaded.. walk away with 20 mil and party with the rest of u guys
Pennyfart: nice!
Pennyfart: what if its that dream girl of yours?
Pennyfart: ahhhhh
Pennyfart: conundrum time
Pennyfart: dum dum dum
Whifflebottom: dum dum dum!
Whifflebottom: yeah then i'll stick ard
Whifflebottom: if its my dream girl.. but i'd also give her cash for an abortion..
Whifflebottom: are u in a conundrum my dear boy?
Pennyfart: nah man
Pennyfart: man u're evil
Pennyfart: dont u believe in true love anymore?@!?%?!
Pennyfart: like princess diaries
Pennyfart: or disney's enchangted
Whifflebottom: i do..
Whifflebottom: fantasia!
Pennyfart: btw this is going into the bird farm
Whifflebottom: but if i love the chick and i'm not married to her.. i'd still get an abortion.. and imagine the amount of money going through you thats not gonna be yours!!
Whifflebottom: at that point in time, an abortion's your best investment!
Pennyfart: off to the bird farm?
Whifflebottom: yes.. indeed
Whifflebottom: at the bird farm, there are no pregnant women..
Whifflebottom: it should be said that it is a new rule that pregnant women will not be allowed into the bird farm
Pennyfart: to the bird farm then!

The Bird Farm

Mr. PennyFart: the toilet door sign is histerical man
Mr. PennyFart: the middle toilet just outside of *****
Mr. PennyFart: says "flush as you shit"
Mr. PennyFart: damn funny man hahahaha
Mr. WhiffleBottom: hahah
Mr. WhiffleBottom: yeah!
Mr. WhiffleBottom: i saw that before
Mr. WhiffleBottom: its stupid as hell.. a courtesy flush yeh?
Mr. PennyFart: yea its just the use of the word shit
Mr. PennyFart: hahahaha
Mr. PennyFart: fucking crass
Mr. WhiffleBottom: yeah.. it should qualify for engrish.com.. but i think it's a little overqualified
Mr. PennyFart: lol
Mr. PennyFart: so man where are u bringing ur date this tues?
Mr. WhiffleBottom: supposedly rakuzen..we'll see
Mr. PennyFart: rakuzen havent heard it b4
Mr. PennyFart: wheres that
Mr. WhiffleBottom: plaza damas.. jap food.. beautiful
Mr. PennyFart: price ?
Mr. WhiffleBottom: can come up to 150 or so for 2 ppl
Mr. PennyFart: ooo
Mr. WhiffleBottom: hey. take a photos of that "shit" sign.. put it as your wallpaper
Mr. WhiffleBottom: hahaha
Mr. PennyFart: hahahaha
Mr. PennyFart: pee on the sign
Mr. PennyFart: so its yelowished staine
Mr. PennyFart: d
Mr. PennyFart: next they will have a new sign
Mr. PennyFart: "dont pee on signs"
Mr. WhiffleBottom: dont piss on signs while shitting..
Mr. PennyFart: yea cause if the cannons erected its just nicely trajectoried to the position of the sign
Mr. PennyFart: while shitting
Mr. PennyFart: yellow shower blast
Mr. WhiffleBottom: hahaha
Mr. WhiffleBottom: if u shoot too hard, u might get some spray-back
Mr. PennyFart: haha on the face
Mr. PennyFart: imagine u that face someone makes when water gets on their face
Mr. PennyFart: now its piss
Mr. PennyFart: it gets on the lips
Mr. PennyFart: and eye lashes
Mr. PennyFart: and that constipated look
Mr. WhiffleBottom: and trickles down to the neck and shit. u love that sorta stuff yea
Mr. WhiffleBottom: hahaha
Mr. WhiffleBottom: dripping down
Mr. PennyFart: and theres no toilet paper in sight
Mr. PennyFart: shit its just dripping all over
Mr. PennyFart:
Mr. PennyFart: they should create a gamebook out of this situation
Mr. PennyFart: flip to page 283 if u want to call for help
Mr. PennyFart: flip to page 100 if u want to jack off
Mr. WhiffleBottom: hahahah you get alternate endings depending if ure playing as a guy or a chick
Mr. PennyFart: yea at the end of the book u get a nice picture to jack off too as a reward
Mr. WhiffleBottom: hhahah
Mr. PennyFart: cum slingers 2 the gamebook by final phantasy
Mr. WhiffleBottom: decendants of cumme schoht, apocalpytical cuntry
Mr. PennyFart: hahhhahhahha
Mr. PennyFart: teh legend of Count wolfgang cum foetuslichker
Mr. WhiffleBottom: hahahahahah Foetus Wolfengaggenheimer
Mr. PennyFart: schlumcock holmes
Mr. PennyFart: 've created a new word call schlurming
Mr. PennyFart: schlurmed
Mr. WhiffleBottom: shlurming..
Mr. PennyFart: p oo sy shlurming
Mr. WhiffleBottom: meaning = to swallow jizz juice with a moment of gargling
Mr. PennyFart: hahahahahhaa
Mr. WhiffleBottom: argh
Mr. WhiffleBottom: disgusting dude.. u're sicker than i thought
Mr. PennyFart: thats a good description lets consult those old chaps at webster to update it
Mr. PennyFart: shit u came up with that description
Mr. WhiffleBottom: indeed old chap..
Mr. WhiffleBottom: cheerio.. toot toot.. lets post it up
Mr. PennyFart: break for sum char time?
Mr. PennyFart: be back in two shakes of a cat's tail
Mr. WhiffleBottom: Shlurping - Shlehr-ping/pin (pronunciation key)
Mr. WhiffleBottom: i'm good old chap..
Mr. PennyFart: alrightio!
Mr. PennyFart: tootsie
Mr. PennyFart: the word "prune" is the new "fuck"
Mr. WhiffleBottom: prune?
Mr. WhiffleBottom: hahaha
Mr. PennyFart: u PRUNE!
Mr. PennyFart: old codger
Mr. PennyFart: fucking dinghys and shit
Mr. PennyFart: pruning
Mr. WhiffleBottom: hahahah its the cats whiskers old boy!
Mr. PennyFart: pruning sounds like shaved coconut mellon
Mr. WhiffleBottom: hahahah
Mr. PennyFart: hahaha
Mr. WhiffleBottom: mellon shaving.. a must these days.. tea and scones?
Mr. PennyFart: "si" it is (being an intellectual one must borrow words from the latin dictionary for showing to others that cultural diversity and gayness)
Mr. PennyFart: "si" = yes
Mr. PennyFart: tea and scones
Mr. PennyFart: oooh these scones are delectable!
Mr. PennyFart: scrumcious!
Mr. PennyFart: fruitful tooting
Mr. WhiffleBottom: oui! - pronounced "wee" by the french. indeed it is highly agreeable that gayness and cutural diversity is elemental in the development of the perfect gentleman.
Mr. WhiffleBottom: yes, delightful scones.. more tea? miss bucketbottom made them
Mr. PennyFart: hahaha
Mr. PennyFart: the whiff of aire coming from miss bucketbottom's behind has a olde flowery cheese smell, i think the farticus she produces is as loquacius as a pundits poon
Mr. WhiffleBottom: ahhahahahahahahahahahaha
Mr. WhiffleBottom: brilliant Mr Pennyfart
Mr. WhiffleBottom: !
Mr. WhiffleBottom: Indeed u are the scholar you have claimed to be... count of monte crusto
Mr. PennyFart: hahahahahahahahaah
Mr. PennyFart: sent hahaha
Mr. WhiffleBottom: nice
Mr. WhiffleBottom: i'm archiving our exchange of words, dear count..
Mr. PennyFart: mr. whifflebottom
Mr. WhiffleBottom: haha
Mr. PennyFart: hahah
Mr. PennyFart: great olde chap, jolly good show
Mr. PennyFart: more tea and scones till we fart just like the flavour of it
Mr. WhiffleBottom: i'll have a couple more mr pennyfart
Mr. PennyFart: sure mr whifflebottom
Mr. WhiffleBottom: would any of your dutch compatriots be joining us for tea this evening mr pennyfart? i'd like them to try some of my family recipe raspberry tarts topped with a dollop of creme de la cow
Mr. PennyFart: mmmm your recipe raspberry tarts sound so enticing.. yummy yummiclicious! ill give them a ring after their group orgy expires... u know these dutchmen! ;)
Mr. PennyFart: they've gotta have their cock ala bum well-done!
Mr. WhiffleBottom: ah indeed, are they arriving via the flying dutchman or will they be taking the HMS Cumsalot? I've arranged for them to stay at the Digbadger tavern although they are also free to choose if they'd like to sleep sound as a pound at ye ole beaver's lodge. ponder it shall we?
Mr. PennyFart: *disclaimer* this is just a fun text and those not generalize dutchmen and if you're reading it and find it un-appealing please revert away *disclaimer*
Mr. WhiffleBottom: hahahahahahaha
Mr. WhiffleBottom: stale ale sir count?
Mr. WhiffleBottom: ah... the smell of spring in the air..
Mr. WhiffleBottom: can u smell that dear count?
Mr. PennyFart: yesh i smell it... crisp and refreshing... ah...
Mr. PennyFart: what is it u smell?
Mr. WhiffleBottom: yess.. it is the smell of pussy willows blossoming in the sun old chap
Mr. PennyFart: its nothing like before i have never been so assaulted by something so magical!
Mr. WhiffleBottom: ah indeed indeed.. *pats count on the back as he chokes on the smell
Mr. PennyFart: *lets a small fart to distill the air
Mr. WhiffleBottom: fresh as pine!
Mr. PennyFart: PINE CONES!
Mr. WhiffleBottom: divine
Mr. PennyFart: lets go collect acorns!
Mr. WhiffleBottom: i think we shall get sir mix-a-lot on the telegraph old chap. i believe i need a new stock of rhymes fr that old boy
Mr. WhiffleBottom: farnsworth will be on his way via the HMS PDiddy this evening.. more tea? would you like some honey on your cock for that scone?
Mr. PennyFart: yes, thank you i would like some honey on my "pe-nile" *scratches his crotch from the jog rash he got earlier this morning
Mr. PennyFart: farnsworth gay isn't he?
Mr. PennyFart: *taps on his pen
Mr. PennyFart: homo i'd say rather
Mr. WhiffleBottom: i see you had a run in with some poison ivy this morning old chap. nothing a good shlurming wont cure
Mr. WhiffleBottom: perhaps
Mr. PennyFart: theres nothing like a good shlurm, u know as they say one schlurm a day keeps herpes away
Mr. PennyFart: speaking of herpes an olde friend of yours had it didn't they?.... that little bitter
Mr. WhiffleBottom: ah indeed, indeed old chap.. some dry figs, dear count?
Mr. WhiffleBottom: yes an old acquaintance, might i add
Mr. PennyFart: si mr. whifflebottome si
Mr. WhiffleBottom: we shall retreat after dinner tonight to pound some granny badge
Mr. WhiffleBottom: mrs. tapbutts would love for you to visit her quary tonight
Mr. PennyFart: ohhh those hungry munchers are as vile as wolfs
Mr. WhiffleBottom: very, why just the other day they turned poor oliver white as sheet as they took turns stuffing his glory
Mr. PennyFart: yea oliver was never the same again
Mr. WhiffleBottom: poor lad, had to charter him out to the orphanage out on blackbottom road
Mr. WhiffleBottom: pip pip! more scones!
Mr. PennyFart: waiter! more scones and send some to poor oliver and timmy in blackbottom road
Mr. PennyFart: speaking about oliver and timmy have u heard... they decided to get emancipated those love children
Mr. PennyFart: they're forming a domestic partnership and the citadel of homo
Mr. PennyFart: *in the
Mr. WhiffleBottom: ah yes, t'was the headline of yesterday's squire! progressive lads those boys
Mr. WhiffleBottom: would you care to walk with me to the bird farm this morning?
Mr. PennyFart: si
Mr. PennyFart: oooo just one suggestion mr. whiffle bottom after we head to the bird fmar
Mr. PennyFart: oooh
Mr. PennyFart: oooh
Mr. PennyFart: can we
Mr. PennyFart: oooh
Mr. PennyFart: go to the kitten fondling center later?
Mr. WhiffleBottom: you read my mind old boy.. best of friends we are *stares intently into each others eyes..
Mr. WhiffleBottom: i'll bring the kitty litter..
Mr. PennyFart: Si...... *scans around, grabs whiffle's butt cheek and gives it a little pinch and sly grin follows soon after..
Mr. PennyFart: i'll bring the bird food
Mr. WhiffleBottom: *blushes
Mr. WhiffleBottom: hahahaahahhaha
Mr. WhiffleBottom: this is super sick fecal matter!
Mr. PennyFart: AHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHA